Fiction Adaptation: Poem Research

I couldn't find any information online for general research on the poem Love Ambitions. However my research on the poem has been done so through analysing the poem itself in connection with my interpretations of each part. As well as analysing the Youth Media Agency adaptation of the poem.

My Interpretation of Love Ambitions

"I wanna be your mirror so I see
What you see.
And you see
What I see
And all I see is you
Gazing at me."

First impression: This says to me that she wants to be 'one' with the person she loves, to see the same sights and feel the same feelings as each other. To 'reflect' off of one another.

In my adaptation: I found that the use of the word 'mirror' works perfectly for the literal use of a mirror in my adaptation. As she is able to look into her reflection and give off the impression that she's looking at more than just herself. I also used the words of him gazing at her in a literal way by having her look at photos of the man she's talking about and it appearing as if he's looking back at her. While I've split this part of the poem into two 'actions' within the film, I feel that they flow together.

"I wanna be.
A debilitating disease,
Make you weak in the knees,
But bless you when you sneeze,
And miss you,
Like a ghost misses form when you leave."

First impression: While the poem may not come across as creepy or obsessive to some, it instantly did to me. Through words such as the above 'debilitation disease'. I interpreted the first half of this section as the poet wanting to weaken the man, possibly so that he needs her to look after him. In contrast, I read the second part as him clearly not being close to her, and not having been around for a while, which I feel starts off a creepy atmosphere and stalker-like appearance of the character/poet in the poems' story.

In my adaptation: I wanted to turn the words around in the first half of this section to the character herself being made weak at the knees by the sight and thought of the man. Having her drop backwards onto her bed in a day dream of him. However, closely resembling the turning point I see in my interpretation of the second half of this section, she is reminded that he is no longer near her when she brushes the empty space next to her. She appears upset, as if her bubble has burst. I think this represents to the audience that something isn't quite right in this supposed love story.

"I wanna be.
The big issue
Maan, that you give 2.50 to,
Compassions material form once held by you
Smell like you,
The scent that you apply
Provide the glisten of desire that resides in your eye,"

First impression: I see her wanting the be 'the big issue' as her wanting to be of some kind of importance to him. Overall, I think this whole section, discussing 'material once held by' him, his scent and the 'desire that resides' in his eye, is almost like her wanting to become a part of him and be what he wants.

In my adaptation: I took this section in a literal manner again, as she almost tries to transform herself into him. By putting on what appears to be one of his shirts stored away with her clothes in her wardrobe, and spraying herself with a man's cologne, which can be assumed as his 'scent'. I think this visual representation heavily gives off the impression that she's trying to be as close to him as possible.

"I want to be your;
Bed, your sheet, your pillow and your cover
The one that I smother
Your bedtime lover,
Comfort in the form of a significant other"

First impression: I see her saying that she wants to be his 'cover' as a way of saying that she wants to be able to wrap around him, which leads into the part that stands out the most to be, which is her saying that she wants to 'smother' him. Which again, takes a turn in a darker direction in my eyes.

In my adaptation: Being set in her bedroom, I made further use of the bed for this section, with her almost imagining or convincing herself that her pillow is him, with her wrapping herself around it. Yet when she looks down and realises that he's not really there, she becomes distressed, clenching the pillow tighter and tighter - as if smothering it. I feel that this was an intense moment in the film that captured the fact that she's not necessarily as innocent as she's seemed up until this point. Unfortunately, I have had to remove these visuals from my adaptation as I've had to heavily cut down the length of my film.

"Your, coco butter
Invade your pores with the cream of me
Just so I can touch you ubiquitously.
Your pupils, teach me to see
That, I'm the one for you and
You complete me."

First impression: I felt that this again touches on the fact that she wants to be a part of him, with the words of 'invading' and touching him 'ubiquitously'. To me it's also a representation of the fact that she's convincing herself that they are supposed to be together, by saying that just looking at him lets her know that she's the one for him and that he 'completes' her.

In my adaptation: Now heading straight in the direction of the sweetness of the character starting to fade and the audience seeing her true colours and obsessiveness, I decided to use her stroking a framed image of him and talking to it. The poem talks of invading his pores and touching him ubiquitously, I made this section more possible and realistic by having her stroke the image of his face, as if that's her reaching out to him and touching him - as that's as close as she can get now days. I also thought that having her flat out say to the picture 'you complete me' makes the line more powerful and clearly represents just how much she believes that he's really there with her.

"The only facebook message you'll reply to.
I wanna be the receptor your ligand will bind to.
The pen lids you chew
Your most comfortable shoes
The one thing you'll never lose
The only choice you'll ever choose."

First impression: In my eyes, this continues talking about the fact that she wants to be involved in ever part of his life, whether it's being the only person he contacts, or even being what he wears and uses day to day. To me, these words, and especially the words of wanting to be his only choice, say that she has unrealistic and unsettling expectations of what she wants to be to him.

In my adaptation: I was inspired by the use of social media being a way to see into someone's life without actually being involved in it, being the way that she 'spies' on him. This was also a way to explain to the audience that he is definitely not in a relationship with her, by showing images etc. on his Facebook profile that he's in a relationship with a different woman. I lead from this to the character being brought back to reality again and reacting badly to it, by connecting 'the pen lids you chew' to her deciding to write a message that convinces herself that her fantasy is what's really reality. It's then revealed that the message says 'I am the one thing you'll never lose, the only choice you'll ever choose'. I think I managed to make this section flow and tie in with each other well.

"I want to be.
Every,
Single,
Girl you've,
Ever,
Encountered.
So that technically,
I'm the only one."

First impression: I see this as her wanting to erase his past and every part of his life that doesn't involve her. I think that could potentially be what every reader and the poet herself may have in mind when reading this section, due to its bluntness.

In my adaptation: The fact that the poem is presented in a way that has each individual word on a separate line makes the reader hear it as 'Every. Single. Girl' etc., which makes it very stop/start to me. This inspired me to present it in a way that each word is bursting into her mind, by using an almost stop motion style of her grabbing her head, again trying to convince herself that she's the only one as each word resounds.

"The game you play for fun.
I'll let you monopolize
And think that you've won
Fairly!"

First impression: This is another section that comes across as disturbing to me. Almost that the whole idea of losing him and him not being a part of her life any more is just a big game or a big joke. But that to her, she's going to turn that around in the end.

In my adaptation: I thought outside of the box for this part. The idea of a game that she herself plays for fun came to me. Which I then decided should involve his new girlfriend. With her opening a hidden book full of images of the new girlfriend, and then ripping them up with a smile, it's as if this is her game, where she gets to 'destroy' the new girl for fun. I also think this ties in with the line 'and think that you've won', as if it's talking to the new girlfriend having won him.

"I wanna be,
The hand that you lay
I'll let you handwrite my game
For
I wanna be
The poetry you write
Sublimation with a flow that's so,
Tight.
Like your boy,"

First impression: This was slightly hazy in meaning for me, while it instantly allowed me to come up with a visual for my adaptation, I think it's message feels slightly unclear. The one way that I can take its meaning, is from the line 'I wanna be the poetry you write'. Seeing as she's building up this whole fantasy through her poem about him, it's almost as if she wants it to be the same on his end, with him fantasising about her, and writing the same things about her that she does about him.

In my adaptation: The words of 'handwrite', 'the poetry you write' inspired me to have her literally begin to write out her fantasy in a bigger way than the last. Her bedroom - mostly her bed, are where I've had her live out her fantasy. So it seemed fitting for her to write across this 'safe zone' in big letters. Saying: 'HE'S MINE'. I think that this not only fits with the section of the poem, but really speaks just how much her grip on reality and her own sanity have been lost.

"Share all instances of carefree joy
Fight your fights
Share your pain
Then make it my own."

First impression: While many sections of the poem are creepy and obsessive in my eyes, this part feels more emotional and relate-able to the reader. As in love it is common that a couple would want to share each others joy, fight each others battles and share their pain. I think this allows the reader to feel for the poet/character more so than before in the poem.

In my adaptation: I took the first part of this to lead on from her satisfaction with having just put it in clear words that he's hers, having her actively represent how content she is by laying in the middle of the words with a grin. I then took the rest to lead into the next section, as he phone receives a message alert, and she looks panicked - relating to the idea of a fight and feeling pain.

"Your phone,
Use me to communicate
All feelings to love loss despair and hate
For I wanna be
The Soca that makes you whine, pine"

First impression: I feel that this is meant to refer back to wanting to be a part of his life in every way, through instead of using his phone for example, using her 'to communicate'. I also feel that it represents the fact that she wants to be there for for every feeling - 'love, loss, despair and hate'.

In my adaptation: I again took the literal use of a phone to 'connect the dots' for the audience in making it clear that she has most likely desperately reached out to him or stalked him and he flat out says in his message to her 'stay away from me'. The devastation of this text for the character allowed me to use the line of love, loss, despair and hate to be represented through her actions of angrily throwing the phone and collapsing on the floor in tears.

"The architect of your love line
Please, let me design."

First impression: I think that through the word of 'please' especially, it captures her desperation towards him. I also feel that through saying that she wants to 'design' their love, it could be referring to rebuilding it or making it right. Which signifies the fact that it's gone wrong.

In my adaptation: I used the desperation of the word 'please' as a strong moment in the adaptation. As she picks up the phone and appears to call him, then shouting "Please!" down the phone, and him seeming to hang up on her. I think this is a key moment when she can realise that her fantasy is just that, and is brought into reality permanently.

"The memory you trigger when you're down.
The riddle you ponder that makes you frown
With confusion, tryna figure the answer
I'll be your lecturer
Guide to conclusion that it's all cos you love her"

First impression: I see this as possibly the poet herself trying to figure out the way she feels and what the situation is between her and this man she speaks of. And that she wants to help guide him to the same conclusion as her own that he loves her. I think that in my eyes I'm seeing it as her once again trying to convince him of their relationship.

In my adaptation: While this section of the poem is only five lines long, I picked it apart, using a different action from my character for almost each line. I saw the first two lines as a way to refer back to the pictures on her wall that fuelled her illusion of a current relationship with him, and her wanting to rip them all down in anger and heartbreak, which she does so. I then had her collapse again, sobbing 'with confusion, trying to figure out the answer' with her clouded illusion fading and she realises the reality of the situation. And her then realising that they are no longer together and that he's gone from her life, and that 'it's all because you love her' - meaning his new girlfriend. I think that I twisted this section of the poem quite dramatically, yet I feel that I've done so in a very expressive and explanatory way that connects with my story very well.

"Me.
Your
Student ID
I wanna be
Part of your identity"

First impression: As 'Me.' connects to the line before of 'it's all cos you love her', this is the poet bluntly saying that he loves her. While I have twisted this in my adaptation, this section adds to the idea that she's trying to convince him of their love in the poem. And again, to me she refers to wanting to be a part of him by conclusively saying that she wants to be part of his identity.

In my adaptation: I mainly focused on the words 'I wanna be part of your identity' for the adaptation, being the most strong and expressive words. I used this to lead into the end of the film, by having her look back at her reflection in the mirror, as she does in the beginning. Except this time, instead of smiling, she looks disgusted, as she now only sees herself, alone.

"Provide knowledge
See you need me
To get into the library"

First impression: I think as the lines get shorter and blunter towards the end of the poem, they simply elaborate on earlier points said by the poet, as I feel that this once again talks about the fact that they belong together through 'see you need me'. However it somewhat adds satire to the section by adding 'to get into the library'.

In my adaptation: I again mainly focused on just the words 'see you need me', as the satirical words that follow would take away from the emotional and dramatic situation that is currently happening at this point in the film. I presented these words by having her say out loud 'you need me' as if talking to him. She looks back at the mirror once more, realising that she doesn't want to see her reflection without him any more and smashes the mirror on the floor. Also as if tying up any more loose ends from her fantasy.

"Fuck it,
I can only be
The woman I am
The woman you see."

First impression: I think that this sums up the end of the poem that after all of her exhaustive fighting for him and attempting to convince him of their love, that she realises that she can only be herself, whether that's what he wants or not. Which I feel I've been able to portray accurately in my adaptation.

In my adaptation: Once the mirror is smashed, it appears that she has resigned herself to giving up and very similarly to the lines of the poem, now feels that she can only be who she is and not what he wants any more. I represented this by having her approach the broken mirror and look at her reflection in the cracked glass. I think this gives the impression that she's now broken, and also refers back to the start of the film, due to the dramatic change she's undergone since looking at the clean, undamaged reflection she'd had before her that morning. I feel that this provides a very powerful, and almost haunting end to the adaptation.

Youth Media Agency Adaptation of Love Ambitions

My notes on the adaptation:

• Includes the poet, yet only in a silhouette style when saying the poem and silently acting out the cutaways
• Instantly an unusual and slightly creepy feel with the echo to her voice and the shadows surrounding her
• A heavy use of the colours pink and orange in the cutaways to her in a field looking happy, as if having a sense of freedom, with these vibrant, upbeat colours supporting it
• A very fast pace, potentially to resemble the panic that comes from the poem
• Very vague music in the background, relaxed atmosphere, fitting to the cutaway scenes, yet not to the pace of the poem
• Unusual techno sound effects
• Lots of close ups e.g. her eyes, her smile

I think that this adaptation greatly differs from my own. Due to the upbeat and relaxed tone of the cutaway scenes along with the use of colours such as pink and relaxed music. This contrasts to the dramatic and dark interpretation of the poem used in my adaptation that features downbeat classical music, darker and colder colours as the film progresses and the scenes being heavily focusing on the character being distressed and emotional. However I was originally inspired by certain parts of this adaptation through the use of close up shots to capture certain emotions that the actress portrays.

Bibliography:

Love Ambitions [poem adaptation online] Youth Media Agency. YouTube (2013) At: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qCoj_abuNw Accessed on 07.12.15)